First say to yourself …

Posted on by wil becker

“First say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do.” Epictetus

Good morning everyone is Iron Wil and I’m back with this weeks quote. Which is “First say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do” Epictetus. And to me what this quote is saying is that first decide for yourself who and what you want to be … your personality, your character, um … your career. Those different factors that are gonna make up your life and then once you’ve made that decision of who and what you want to be … then go and do the work and it is work! It is work to create the person that you want to become.

You know it’s [been] said that when … um … Michelangelo was sculpting David, um … he said that all he did was chip away everything that wasn’t David, in that sculpture. And in a similar way, inside each of us is an amazing and beautiful individual. The question is do you want to create that person or do you just wanna … kind of follow along life and just kind of whatever happens. Um … and so we get the opportunity to choose who we want to become or allow life to choose who we become. The difference is your intent, my intent on who I want to change into … how I want to grow. Do I wanna become the best version of myself or do I wanna become a mediocre version of myself? What or Who do you wanna be?

One of my favorite Native American, legends or stories or things … is that you have two wolves inside of you, you have a good wolf and a bad wolf; or a light side and a dark side … and the question is asked of the young, which one will win? And the answer is … the one you feed. So if you’re willing to put good content, and if you’re willing to put in good information; if you’re willing to put in the work to become a better person …than that is who will win. That is who will come out of you is that better version of yourself, that better person excuse me that better person.

And honestly in my experience with people and with learning of myself I have found that doing that work does bring out a better person. A better version of yourself, not perfect, please remember not perfect. Um … but better and sometimes other people will see that version of you and sometimes because of when you connect or communicate or when you associate, they won’t always see that version of you. It just depends.

We should be willing to grow and change and pay the price if we want to have a better life. 

And to be a better person. And one of the things that we need to give ourselves is grace for the mistakes we’re gonna make; and grace for the time or patience for the time it’s gonna take to grow and develop into that person. One of my favorite … um … I think it is a Chinese proverbs “The Journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step. And life is a journey … life is a journey and your destination, as Christian, is the next life. So, your graduation day will come at some point and you’ll be called home to meet your GOD. And what person, what version of yourself do you wanna be showing up there? what version?

So with that my friends, I hope that you like this video, if you do please share it. Go out and make a great day and make it a great week. Iron Wil out.

reading changes your brain and challenges your presumptions, pick up a book and install new software!

check out my recommended reading list at https://turningleafs.com/book-list/

Balcony Brotherhood: Dealing With Grief

Posted on by wil becker

Balcony Brotherhood: Dealing With Grief

This week, we sit with something most men carry… but rarely name.

In an episode that trades noise for honesty, Mr. Drayke and Mr. Blackart turn their attention to grief—not the kind that shows up loudly, but the kind that settles in quietly and stays. Not dramatic. Not visible. Just present. Through grounded discussion, research, and listener emails from men across the country, the gentlemen explore what grief looks like when it isn’t expressed, but carried.

This conversation isn’t about loss in the abstract. It’s about the father who passed and the son who never cried. The brother who’s gone and the man who stayed busy so he didn’t have to stop. The anger that doesn’t make sense, the distance that slowly grows, and the silence that feels easier than explaining something you can’t quite put into words.

The Brotherhood examines the realities many men don’t talk about. How grief often shows up as numbness, irritation, or disconnection. How staying busy can look like strength, while quietly postponing what needs to be processed. And how isolation, even when it feels easier, slowly increases the weight a man is carrying.

They explore the research behind it—why men are less likely to seek support, how emotional suppression affects long-term health, and why even one honest connection can change the trajectory of how grief is carried. From instrumental grief to the “in-between” stage where nothing feels resolved, the conversation moves through the spaces most men find themselves in but rarely describe.

But this episode doesn’t stay in the weight.

It moves toward understanding.

Toward the idea that grief doesn’t have a single form. That moving forward isn’t about forgetting, but about integrating. That connection doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic to matter, it just has to exist.

This conversation isn’t about fixing grief.

It’s about recognizing it.

Because the question isn’t whether you’re carrying something.

It’s whether you’re willing to acknowledge that it’s there.

Share your stories or ask your questions at balconybrotherhood@gmail.com.

Connect with the Brotherhood on X, Instagram, and YouTube.

All links at linktree.com for more fearless conversation about what it really takes to build lasting relationships in today’s world.

Subscribe on Podbean, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts for more grounded conversations about connection, accountability, and building a life that doesn’t quietly shrink.

Ultimately, there’s one investment …

Posted on by wil becker

“Ultimately, there’s one investment that supersedes all others: Invest in your self.” Warren Buffett

Everyone, I’m back with this weeks which is “Ultimately, there’s one investment that supersedes all others: invest in yourself: Warren Buffett Now, you might’ve heard Ben Franklin’s version of this which is “if you pour your wallet in your head, no one can steal from you. It’s the same concept, it’s the same idea.

Is that you invest in yourself books, seminars, lectures, um training, like whatever it is in your field or in the field that you want to go into. Investing yourself will pay huge dividends, and it shows all things that a person can do and in the efforts they make or take to improve themselves.

Right now, I am reading a book called the Slight Edge talks about incremental improvements over time. How they’re not flashy … they’re not amazing … movies always, you know do these you know little montages that represent the passage of time … putting in the work. And that’s really the thing … when you and I put in the work, we’ll get results. It’s never the next day. It’s never the next week, i shouldn’t say never … not always the next week.

However, when we invest in ourselves, when we put in the time and energy to improve. We will get to see those improvements we will reap the rewards from that work. Whether you’re going to the gym, whether you’re running, whether you’re reading books to level up your leadership or your business skills.

There’s all sorts of different ways that you can invest in yourself. Health is another one … diet and exercise … being willing to consult a professional and take their advice and follow what they instruct. There are so many ways that you can invest in yourself, if you’re not already reading, if you’re not already listening, if you’re not already associating with amazing people. Than pick one and take the next step.

If you’re looking for a book recommendation go the website, there’s a book on there … a Top 10 and there’s a broken out list because it’s getting to long for one page. It is something to see … check it out. This is Iron Wil, go out and make a great day. Make it a great week. Talk to you later.

reading changes your brain and challenges your presumptions, pick up a book and install new software!

check out my recommended reading list at https://turningleafs.com/book-list/

Balcony Brotherhood: EMale 4-5-26

Posted on by wil becker

Balcony Brotherhood: EMale 4-5-26

The Gentlemen read emails sent from the past couple of weeks about recent shows. Birthdays are celebrated and Mr. Becker’s review this Easter Sunday is a classic: The Count of Monte Cristo. 

Share your experiences at balconybrotherhood@gmail.com. Connect with the Brotherhood on X, Instagram, and YouTube. All links at linktree.com. Subscribe on Podbean, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts for more fearless conversation about what it really takes to build lasting relationships in today’s world.

 

Our greatest glory is …

Posted on by wil becker

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Confucius.

alright my friends, I’m back with this week’s quote, which is, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall,” Confucius. And I love this quote because it reminds us to get back up. And the fall is just part of life. It’s not, it’s not a failure event. It’s not catastrophic if we have the courage in the willingness to stand back up, and this is everything that we do, everything that we try to do.

It’s that getting back up, it’s that going back at the challenge so that way, that way we can overcome that trial, that hardship, that pain in our lives, and when we do that, we get to see some amazing things happen. We see ourselves, bro, we get to see ourselves develop personally and professionally. We get to see better relationships, need to see a richer life come out of those challenges, and that’s one of the things I love about what I do, what I help people do, what I love about the wife that I live.

Oh, I’m not perfect. There are lots of mistakes that you made by me every day, probably a half dozen last hour. I don’t even know, right? For what I do know is that I can apologize, I can make amends as best I can, and I can move forward. I can move forward in doing so, get stronger. When you get knocked down, get back up. When you get defeated in someway, look for a win in that, and when you win, look for a way that you could have been better. So, my friends, our greatest glory is rising every time we fall.

So go out there, get back up again, and don’t take it lying down, ’cause you’re not a dead horse. With that, I won’t make it a great week.

reading changes your brain and challenges your presumptions, pick up a book and install new software!

check out my recommended reading list at https://turningleafs.com/book-list/

Balcony Brotherhood: Time Marches On

Posted on by wil becker

Balcony Brotherhood: Time Marches On

This week, we sit with a realization most men don’t see coming until it’s already there.

In an episode that trades urgency for awareness, Mr. Drayke and Mr. Blackart turn their attention to something quieter, but far more personal: the moment when time stops feeling unlimited and starts feeling defined. Not dramatic. Not sudden. Just a subtle shift that changes how a man looks at his life.

This conversation isn’t about aging in the traditional sense. It’s about perception. About the moment when “I’ve got time” becomes “I need to start paying attention to how I’m using it.” Through reflection, listener emails, and grounded discussion, the gentlemen explore how this awareness shows up; not in milestones, but in ordinary moments that land differently than they used to.

Time Marches On: 
The Brotherhood walks through the layers of that realization. The physical signals that don’t feel the same. The mental math that starts happening whether you want it to or not. The awareness that life is no longer something ahead of you, but something you are actively moving through.

They examine what happens next: the inventory. Where the time went. The trade-offs made in work, relationships, and responsibility. Not as regret, but as clarity. Because once a man sees it, he can’t unsee it.

From there, the conversation moves into the pressure that follows. Not panic, but weight. The quiet understanding that time is limited, and that doing nothing is still a decision. They explore why men hesitate, why change feels riskier later in life, and how awareness without action can quietly keep a man in place.

But this episode doesn’t stay in reflection.

It moves forward.

Toward what actually matters now. Toward the shift from accumulation to intention. Toward relationships, presence, and the realization that time is less about quantity and more about how it’s spent.

This conversation isn’t about loss. It’s about clarity. About recognizing where you are, understanding what matters, and choosing how to move forward with intention instead of assumption.

Because the question isn’t how much time is left.

It’s what you decide to do with it.

Share your stories or ask your questions at balconybrotherhood@gmail.com.

Connect with the Brotherhood on X, Instagram, and YouTube.

All links at linktree.com for more fearless conversation about what it really takes to build lasting relationships in today’s world.

Subscribe on Podbean, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts for more grounded conversations about connection, accountability, and building a life that doesn’t quietly shrink.

Act as if …

Posted on by wil becker

”Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” William James

reading changes your brain and challenges your presumptions, pick up a book and install new software!

check out my recommended reading list at https://turningleafs.com/book-list/